Judgments

The difference between a weed and a flower is one of judgment. In the spring, i allow wild asters to grow in my flowerbeds because they add a white or lavender mist of color in the fall. When their flowers have finished blooming in October, i pull them out as if they are weeds.

What about those people we would like to pull out of our lives? Those weedy people whom we have a little grudge against, those weedy people who rub us the wrong way. It's all a matter of judgment--ours.

The fault lies not with "them," but within ourselves. Even then, we have already judged ourselves as having a fault, but since it's too ugly, we cast out our projection and land that fault on someone else.

The fall asters are not to blame. They are simply being their aster-ish selves.

Robin Reflection

This morning during meditation i heard a robin repeatedly throwing himself at the kitchen window. This happens every spring during mating season as the robin sees his reflection in the glass and tries to scare off the "other" bird.

People do this all the time, every day, but it's hidden under the psychological defense called "projection." We "see" ourselves--our actions, our behavior, our mental thoughts--in the outside world, and if we have not been acting wholesomely, we pin our own unease on the other person.

For instance, if i can't find the keys to my car, i often think Bill! and blame him for my missing keys. They are lost, and i'm sure I didn't lose them. Then i find them in my coat pocket.

One of my recent discoveries was a judgment i was laying at the feet of a couple who were pillars of the church i used to attend. What hypocrites! i used to think. I believed this thought for decades. Last week, i reexamined this thought and the situation that gave rise to it. In my mind's eye, i saw myself acting hypocritically--shaking their hands, passing the peace to them, and smiling while thinking They are such hypocrits. I was the one who was a hypocrit in that situation: I didn't want to shake their hands; I did not want to pass the peace to them; and my smile was forced. They were simply a mirror for my own internal thoughts and emotions.

Oh, it is way past time to let that old, old grudge sink into the love and peace that they were sending my way. It's time to send them some love and peace, even though they are both deceased. It's time to send that girl Cheryl some love for her innocence and her misguided projections. It's time to make amends to her.

Gazing Globe on the Ground

A silver gazing globe blew off its stand a couple of weeks ago, and i haven't picked it up. It sits there on the ground waiting for me to decide what to do. This morning 2 little sparrows were running around it, looking at themselves in "the mirror" and scaring themselves

Isn't this exactly what we do when we worry? We look into our mirror-mind, which is simply a big projection screen, and we see... An intruder! An intruder into our space! (Never mind that this thought is a creation of the mind.)

Like those little brown birds, the redpolls, we jump, we startle. And we keep replaying the event, the situation in our mind. Running around and around the gazing globe mirror. Aaagghhh!!!

We fail to notice the places where we don't see our projection in the mirror-mind. There's one good viewpoint, and we keep going back to it. Notice that space, the place where the thought is not. That's the place of Wise View.

Sweet Nicotiana

When i walked out the front door to empty the compost last night, i was enveloped in the sweet fragrance of nicotiana (flowering tobacco). I have a white garden, a moon garden, at my front door--all white flowers that are visible even without the moon tonight.

The flowers look scraggly during the day, but at night they shine, as they pump out their scent.

I, too, look a bit scraggly by daylight, but, as they say, you can't judge a book by its cover. Ayya Khema, a Buddhist nun, warns us not to project a self onto others.

It has taken me years to understand what she means. Since we have a self (or so we think), we project one onto everyone we see. But this is not necessarily true.

The person who is self-less may not be visible to our ordinary eyes, but we might recognize her by the sweet fragrance of her actions.

Sending a Notecard

I was driving to town yesterday when I remembered that my dear cousin Agatha hadn't sent me a card or flowers following my surgery in February. I love Agatha, but I am often exasperated by her. Sometimes I think I should stop working so hard to maintain our relationship. And now I had proof: she hadn't thought enough of me to send even a card as several other friends had. I was getting ready to get myself all riled up.

But I put my soon-to-be-rampage on hold. I paused. When I got home, I did The Work of Byron Katie, a process of inquiry. I turned the thought around 3 times with ho-hum results. Then as I was putting my worksheet away, I remembered: I had received an orchid from the meditation center where I teach, and I hadn't sent a thank-you note.

How sneaky is that?  I'm the guilty party, but since that's very unpleasant to consider, I slap my projection onto the nearest handy target: Agatha.

It's all projection. Our world is entirely made of our own fabrications. And the thing is, we believe them.

There's no "out there" out there. It's all happening in here. The things we call "out there" are actually "in here."

We love our dualisms--in here / out there, me/her, us/them. And really, it's all just Life unfolding.