Thursday, May 28, 2015

The Call of the American Toad

The American toad is trilling its haunting, l-o-n-g call. My sweetie doesn't like to be at home alone with it--it's too spooky for him. He says it sounds like a ghost.

I love meditating on the sound of the toad, which lasts 5 or 10 seconds, in the evening and in the morning before sunrise. I try to listen intently to hear the rapid trill, which sounds, at first, like a monotone. Can i "ride" the rapid up-and-down? I try to feel the sound in my body. Can i soak into the sound? marinate in the sound? become one with the sound?

For years, i thought hearing meditation was me, here, listening to that sound, over there. Then on a retreat, i realized i could feel sound in my body. The sound was not happening over there. Sound was happening in my body. Sound vibrates my bones and my flesh.

Now i try to sink into the sound, knowing that it's not the sound itself that's unpleasant. It's the way the sound feels in my body that's unpleasant.

American toad: unpleasant to some. Pleasant to others.

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