Squirting Squirrels

 I have a big squirt gun sitting in a quart of water right beside the door from the kitchen to the deck. When a squirrel sneaks up to the deck and starts munching the sunflower seeds sitting on the railing, i sneak over to the door and fill up the gun with water. I open the door as quietly as possible. Of course, the squirrel can hear me. Some squirrels are dare devils and wait until the last second before they take a flying leap off the second-story deck. Others skedaddle as soon as they hear the turn of the doorknob.

Sometimes, they take cover under the deck for a few seconds before they run across the yard toward the trees. I've learned to aim in front of where they are running because the water travels only a little faster than the squirrels.

I'm not sure i'm teaching the squirrels what i want them to learn. I want them to stay away from the bird seed, but that is like teaching starving people to stop stealing bread. The squirrels are hungry!

The squirrels have learned (1) to keep a lookout for me moving inside the house, (2) to run as soon as they see me. Some of the squirrels have even learned broken field running in order to avoid being "rained on" by the water from my squirt gun.

What have i learned? That the squirrels are hungry.