Snowplow Does Some Transplanting For Me

 The snowplow has done some gardening for me. Again. This time, the plow nicked a divot of kinnikinnik and epimedium out of the edge of the driveway and shoved it into the snowbank at the end of the driveway.

Ah, well. The transplants are on ice until snowmelt in early April. They'll keep in their snow-cooled refrigerator. No need to worry. No need to complain.

We love the snowplow guy who comes the minute it stops snowing. I can't control what happens when the plow blade hits the edge of the driveway. If i accept what is, i don't feel stressed.

Change. Impermanence. The Buddha warned us about this. So, just kick back and watch what happens next.

Frog in Snow

 

My frog at the front door is covered in snow, but that doesn't seem to disturb his equanimity.

Equanimity is a cool emotion anyway. Some people don't particularly like it because it lacks passion. Equanimity allows everything to be just as it is. Accepting each and every moment and not wishing for anything different than what is.

Even if you have a lap full of snow.

Vaccine Cold

It’s vaccine cold outdoors. Single digits. 

A local hospital's refrigerator was 9 degrees instead of the recommended 2-8*. Would they have to throw the 860 doses of vaccine away? 

Feel your heart cringe as you read that sentence. Oh no! They have to throw it away? That’s 860 people.

Feel your resistance to what is. Notice that suffering or discontent co-arises with resistance. Acceptance = Peace.

Feel the resistance to the intense cold outdoors.

Rest.

Moderna said the hospital could use the 860 doses after all.

* This turns out to be Celsius, not Fahrenheit as i originally thought.

Floating Hope

This morning, i looked out the kitchen window and saw the word HOPE floating in the trees on the other side of the lawn.

Usually, hope is a desire for something different--wanting this moment to be different or wanting an outcome to be different. The Buddhist path cultivates the equanimity of accepting this moment just as it is. We may not like it. We may not like the news, for instance, but accepting what is, as it is, is clear-eyed seeing.

The Buddha teaches us about the path. Desire, wanting, craving are the sources of the problem. When we stop wanting, when we stop resisting this moment, as unpleasant as it may be, our minds and hearts come to rest.

Then we proceed with our heart leading the way.

Country Gentleman

I grew up in the cornfields of the Midwest, and my dad was a farmer. Shucking corn for dinner was a game. Would your cob be a "city slicker" with even rows of kernels? Or a "country gentleman" with uneven teeth?

Since i've only seen "city slickers" for the past few decades, i was surprised to peel off the husk last night and find a country gentleman!

We live in a privileged society where life can go very evenly for quite a while. Then we hit some uneven bumps. Wait a minute. Isn't life supposed to be smooth? No, it isn't. This unevenness is the Buddha's first ennobling truth.

Accepting life as it is, and simply saying "yes" to the pain, grief, and despair leads moment by moment to equanimity. Tranquility that we got second or third best, instead of the very best.

The country gentleman isn't pretty, but the corn is just as delicious.

The Winter Garden

Now that the first frost has sent annuals to their compost-grave, we can see more clearly what remains in the winter garden. Curly red kale, for instance. It's beautiful.

Here at the writing retreat, we are served kale every day--kale in the minestrone soup, kale-quinoa salad. It's delicious.

As our bodies deteriorate, and we lose this small function and then that one, we can see more clearly what remains. For my own "winter garden" i've been cultivating calm and acceptance. After all, my happiness does not depend on how I feel.

Cool weather is here. I realize i cannot see or hear as well as i used to. I need reading glasses for everything. I can no longer eavesdrop on nearby conversations.

Nevertheless, my happiness does not depend on how i feel about these situations.

The winter garden is beautiful.

Flowering Twice

My favorite October shrub is "blooming" right now. Actually, heptacodium (seven-son flower) blooms white in September. This month the red sepals of those gone-by flowers make it look like it's blooming again. I love this late bloomer, partly because it's the only shrub that is blooming this late in the season.

It's never too late to begin meditation practice. Some of us discover meditation at a young age; others when we are older. I recently saw a 90-year-old friend at a retreat. What an inspiration!

Mindfulness practice helps us bloom with kindness, patience, and acceptance. Better late than never.

10-Foot Tall Mullein

That tall candelabra mullein i mentioned last month is now almost 10 feet tall. It's so tall, it's peeking into our second story kitchen window. And as you notice, it's twice as tall as i am.

I did not plant the yellow mullein there. I did plant the white mulleins (only 5 feet tall) nearby.

Mullein has always liked to grow in this spot. In fact, i have a photo of my naked sweetie posing as Adam, using a soft, furry mullein leaf as his fig leaf (see photo below--on this blog) 27 years ago.

Since mullein likes to grow in this little patio garden, I like mullein to grow there. This is called "accepting the things you cannot change," which leads to serenity with the way things are.

I love mullein.

My sweetie in 1991

They Call the Wind Mariah

Our latest adventure with Airbnb is staying in a 32-foot long house trailer, the 1970s type that has now been replaced by RVs. Last night the wind moaned and sighed and buffeted the trailer a bit. I was reminded of one of my favorite songs from childhood--They Call the Wind Mariah. Before spending time in west Texas, i never realized that the wind could be a felt personality.

The song is about a miner, longing for his girlfriend, and since i'm staying in the mining town of Terlingua, Texas, the lyrics seem very appropriate.

Yearning for anything--a girlfriend, distant children, more money--is another word for stress, suffering, and distress. Not that you have do anything about it, except simply notice the longing and how it feels in your body. Notice the wishing, the hoping, the non-acceptance of life as it is, right this minute.

Wind blowing, sun shining. Alone, but not lonely.


Way out west, they got a name
For rain and wind and fire.
The rain is Tess, the fire is Joe and
they call the wind Mariah.

 Mariah blows the stars around
And sends the clouds a-flying.
Mariah makes the mountain sounds
Like folks were up there dying.
Mariah, They call the wind Mariah

Now before I knew Mariah's name
And heard her wail and whining,
I had a gal and she had me
and the sun was always shining.

O, but then one day I left my gal.
I left her far behind me.
And now I'm lost, I'm oh so lost
Not even God can find me.

Mariah, O, Mariah,
They call the wind Mariah

I hear they got a name for rain
And wind and fire only
But when you're lost and all alone,
there ain't no words but lonely.

And I'm a lost and lonely man,
without a star to guide me.
Mariah, blow my love to me.
I need my gal beside me.

Mariah, Mariah.
I'm lonely can't you see?

Mariah, O, Mariah
Please blow my love to me
Mariah, blow my love to me


Lyrics and music by Lerner and Loew
from the musical Paint Your Wagon

Surrender

When i say i have zero fear about this breast cancer / lumpectomy today, some friends think i'm in denial. Other friends say, "You're so brave" or "You're so strong." Strong has nothing to do with it. I am not taking a stance nor standing against cancer nor standing up to it. I am surrendering.

I surrender to Life as it is unfolding.

Right this minute, not even the doctor knows, really, what he will find. He has made some educated guesses. I surrender to his expertise.

Not even the doctor knows what my follow-up treatment will be. "It all depends" on what he finds. If he doesn't know yet, i don't need to know.

For years i have ended my meditation with May i see and accept things as they really are.

Today i see that many things are unknown. May i accept not knowing what cannot yet be known.

No worries. No fear.

Accepting the People I Cannot Change

Grant me the serenity 
to accept the people I cannot change,
the courage to change the one I can,
and the wisdom to know it's me

.