A Lone Robin Calls

Jut after sunset, a lone robin sends her distress call for more than half an hour. I can hear her flying from here to there, but the dark woods reveals no specifics.

Last evening at this time, two robins were distressed while an owl perched nearby.

A lone robin sends her SOS. I can do nothing

Still Lightning Bugs

A few lightning bugs are still lighting up the fields and forests these hot summer nights. The males fly around and look for the flightless females lying in the grass. The males drop down to mate, and then the female eats the male. Whoa! That is not a happy ending to the story. It turns out that sex (for the fireflies) is dukkha ("bummer!").

This reminds me of a chant.

Separation from the liked is dukkha.

Association with the disliked is dukkha.

Not attaining one's wishes is dukkha.

Well, we could apply all of these to our sexual relationship(s).
Separation from the beloved is (sometimes) distressing and creates a longing.
Association with the disliked (state of aloneness and yearning) creates a desire for change.
Not attaining one's wishes (i will leave the sexual details to your imagination) can create disappointment.

Those beautiful male lightning bugs light up the darkness

Photo from nytimes.com

Hoe Your Own Row

This morning in meditation group, one friend told us about her closest friend who is stopping medications for MS in favor of an all-natural diet approach. Since one person in our group is married to a person who has MS, we began venting our opinions. We felt we could do this with our close friend and neighbor, though we do not feel free to vent our opinions to acquaintances. We have to remember to "hoe our own row." In other words, mind our own business.

When i start minding someone else's business, i take on additional stress and distress. Why on earth would i want to do that? I may think i'm doing it out of love, but is love that stressful? Really?

Chances are i'm having an opinion because i'm attached to the outcome or attached to the person.

It's so much simpler and easier to hoe my own row, and just allow you to hoe yours--even though they may look completely different.

Hanging by Her Fingernails

This morning, i looked out the kitchen window to see a big, fat gray squirrel squirming on the squirrel-proof bird feeder. Aha! i thought. I'm going to give that squirrel a good scare.

I quietly opened the door, but the squirrel didn't run away. I walked right up to the bird feeder, and still the squirrel squirmed--and cried. Then i saw that it had one finger caught in the bird feeder. Every time she moved, her finger caused her more pain.

I got a screwdriver and put on leather work gloves. I faced the squirrel who quieted down and stared at me. Was she ready to meet her Maker? Or could she feel my good intentions? I pried the feeding gate off the bird feeder. Still, the squirrel was stuck, hanging by one fingernail.

I peered more closely to see the cause of the problem. Then, suddenly, she was free, and she bounded off.

We too are caught in the pain of stress and distress. We try to think our way through our problem, get caught in the story, and only cause ourselves more distress.

Even when we have the tool for our release close at hand, our little hands are still grasping for something we desire.

Then we drop the desire and are free. Free to live our own wild and precious life.

Majestic Moose

Yesterday my sweetie saw a moose in the backyard, next to our little fishpond. He said it looked majestic, that it looked large, and made our yard suddenly look small. Then the visiting moose sauntered into the woods.

I wasn't home. My first response was jealousy. Wanh! I want to see a moose. I want to see a moose in my own backyard.

Feel the distress of not getting what you want.

An alternative emotion is to feel happiness for my sweetie's good fortune at seeing the moose. I simply was not in the right place at the right time. Why be envious of his good luck? Sometimes, I have my own good luck.

May your good fortune continue, my dear.

And dear reader, my your good fortune continue--whether it is small as a mouse or big as a moose.

Refuge from the Storm

I stopped at the Farmers Market in St Albans, Vermont on my way to vacation on Lake Champlain and again when i was returning from the lake. Both times i bought birdhouses. A creative woodworker named Ron puts together some really inventive birdhouses. I liked the one that looks like a tree cavity. (Notice the shelf mushroom perch.) What a lovely refuge for a bird or some other creature.

Where do you take refuge from the storms of life?

Friends are the first place i go--usually Dharma friends. I can talk through the distress of the moment. My friends encourage me to keep my mind and my intention on the high road. They discourage me from snarky remarks. Thank you, dear friends.

Another refuge is the Dharma, the teachings of the Buddha. The Dharma lays out an ingenious path. And the Buddha's response is, "See for yourself. Don't take my word for it." (Don't take my word for it either. :)

It's tempting to take refuge in the internet, TV, shopping, food, or your other favorite addiction. But the refuges that stand the test of time are Dharma friends, the Dharma, and, if it's not a stretch for you, the Buddha. The Buddha beckons us to see for ourselves.

They Call the Wind Mariah

Our latest adventure with Airbnb is staying in a 32-foot long house trailer, the 1970s type that has now been replaced by RVs. Last night the wind moaned and sighed and buffeted the trailer a bit. I was reminded of one of my favorite songs from childhood--They Call the Wind Mariah. Before spending time in west Texas, i never realized that the wind could be a felt personality.

The song is about a miner, longing for his girlfriend, and since i'm staying in the mining town of Terlingua, Texas, the lyrics seem very appropriate.

Yearning for anything--a girlfriend, distant children, more money--is another word for stress, suffering, and distress. Not that you have do anything about it, except simply notice the longing and how it feels in your body. Notice the wishing, the hoping, the non-acceptance of life as it is, right this minute.

Wind blowing, sun shining. Alone, but not lonely.


Way out west, they got a name
For rain and wind and fire.
The rain is Tess, the fire is Joe and
they call the wind Mariah.

 Mariah blows the stars around
And sends the clouds a-flying.
Mariah makes the mountain sounds
Like folks were up there dying.
Mariah, They call the wind Mariah

Now before I knew Mariah's name
And heard her wail and whining,
I had a gal and she had me
and the sun was always shining.

O, but then one day I left my gal.
I left her far behind me.
And now I'm lost, I'm oh so lost
Not even God can find me.

Mariah, O, Mariah,
They call the wind Mariah

I hear they got a name for rain
And wind and fire only
But when you're lost and all alone,
there ain't no words but lonely.

And I'm a lost and lonely man,
without a star to guide me.
Mariah, blow my love to me.
I need my gal beside me.

Mariah, Mariah.
I'm lonely can't you see?

Mariah, O, Mariah
Please blow my love to me
Mariah, blow my love to me


Lyrics and music by Lerner and Loew
from the musical Paint Your Wagon

Lavender Lobelia

I went to a Farmers Market yesterday and bought some lavender lobelia. I love the looks of lobelia, but it just does not last as an edging plant. It's fried by August. So i'm adding the lobelia to some of my planters and crossing my fingers that they last.

Nothing lasts, of course. We want beautiful things to go on and on, but they don't. When something beautiful, like lobelia, has such a short lifespan, we are disappointed. Disappointment is another name for stress and distress.

So beautiful. Maybe we'll forget that we will be disappointed.

Rain Garden

My favorite rain garden is the cloverleaf where i often enter onto the interstate. In the center of that single cloverleaf is a low spot, lower than the entrance ramp curving around it on 3 sides, and much lower than the traffic whizzing by on the interstate on the fourth "side." This drainage area is, right now, filled with blue lupines, happy daisies, and red clover (Vermont's state flower.)

When it rains, the water is held in this area, this "rain garden," so that stormwater runoff can percolate into the soil or slowly be released into the stream that drains this area.

This is what rain gardens do: they withstand the extremes of wetness and absorb the high nitrogen and phosphorous that is often found in runoff. A rain garden also guards against erosion that can be caused by a downpour.

How can we hold the challenges of our life when stress and distress rain down upon us? How can we hold difficult situations without resisting them?

Our mindfulness practice prepares us for the non-judgmental awareness to notice. "Oh, this." and "Just this." We don't have to have an opinion. We don't have to have a judgment. We don't have to launch into ain't-it-awful.

We simply hold the "too much" that may be storming through our lives. Let it infiltrate us. Feel the pain, the splats, and all the other unpleasantnesses. The mind wants so badly to make up a story about it. The story--whatever it is--guards us against feeling the present moment.

And after the storm, after all the thunder and lightning, the sun shines and daisies bloom.

Zero Fear

Yesterday, the rabbi asked me, "What's your fear level?"

"Zero," i said.

I have breast cancer.

Notice your fear level. Right this moment.

I'm going for a lumpectomy tomorrow.

I've known about this for 10 days. (See my February 17 blogpost.) And my visits to my local doctor and hospital (4, so far, with another one today) have been stress-free. So easy.

Pain is inevitable; Suffering is optional.
Resist the present moment (the mental pain, the thought
of cancer), and distress arises.

The future cannot be known. Not really. The doctor doesn't know what the follow-up will be until after the lumpectomy. Wanting to know what can't be known is called anxiety and worry. I'm not going there.

Today is a sunny, blue-sky day.

This is what our meditation practice has been aiming at for all these years: Deep happiness regardless of outer conditions.

Meditate today as if your hair is on fire. Your life, your well-being depends on it.

Naked Ladies Dancing in the Garden

Naked Ladies are blooming! In fact, they are dancing throughout one of my flowerbeds. Lycoris has pink amaryllis-type flowers atop a 3-foot stem. Its strappy spring leaves are nowhere to be seen, having dried up last month. Thus the stem and flowers are "naked" of any foliage.

What's the naked truth of our lives? The unadorned, yet surprisingly beautiful truth of life?

The Buddha offers us 4 unadorned truths:

1. Life is challenging. We experience stress every day.
2. The cause of our stress is craving.
3. Our stress and distress can end.
4. The way to end our stress is through 8 steps of mindful living.

These naked truths are called The 4 Ennobling Truths because they ennoble those of us who follow their guidance.


At first glance, these Ennobling Truths don't seem very pretty and certainly not beautiful. But they point the way to a beautiful mind. A beautiful mind that is calm and peaceful. A beautiful mind that is wise and skillful when we come face to face with the naked truth of our life.

Training Pole Beans Up

My pole beans, like mischievous children, are running away, over the ground, instead of climbing their poles. I have to train them, one by one, to send their vines up, not out.

Our minds can be quite mischievous at times, running here and there, getting into trouble, causing stress and distress. We sit down in meditation to train our mind to pay attention to the present moment. The mind runs hither and thither. We direct our attention back to our breath or to sensations of the body.

When we have a moment of stability of mind, just a single moment of concentration, we can look out over the forest of thoughts, and, perhaps, harvest a single insight.

Oh, that green bean is so fresh and delicious!

Gladiolous Stress

The Farmers' Market in a nearby village is located right next to the community garden. Each of the 30 little plots is completely different from its neighbors, and each one is beautiful.

A narrow flower bed separates the garden from a wide swath of grass where the Farmers' Market sets up on Sunday afternoon.

Last Sunday, i was sitting on the grass, eating dim sum, and enjoying my eye-level view of coreopsis and peonies, when Gladys rushed over and tried to prop up a broken gladiolus.

"Why can't people control their children?" she muttered. Then, seeing me, she said, "The world need more meditation."

In fact, we can't control our children. We can't control our minds. And we can't control the world.
Wanting control only leads to stress and distress.

Why do we want control? We want to stabilize our world. We want to plant a gladiolus and see it flower. But some of them won't We can't control the gladiolus, Nor the children nor the dogs who walk over them.

We can only watch the world unfold, constantly changing, according to its nature and NOT according to our wishes.

Wanting things to be different than they are is stressful. This is what's happening. Right now. Life.

Distress and Eustress

My gardening is reduced to puttering in my solarium, which is crowded with houseplants. Yesterday i took cuttings of a leggy coleus, and they are making an interesting "bouquet" in a glass of water while i wait for them to root.

Time to give several plants a "haircut" while i'm at it. Several plants are leggy from reaching for the distant sun.

Distress and eustress. Distress: the dissatisfaction of not gardening outdoors. Eustress: the stress of happiness, puttering with houseplants.

Mullein Remedies

In the community garden, i watched as someone dug up biennial white mullein and composted them. To her, they were weeds--plants growing in the wrong place.

To me, they were nascent wildflowers, full of next summer's potential. Now they are compost.

Our views, our opinions, our viewpoints often lead straight to distress or stress. Wise View is the first step on the Noble Eightfold Path. We know a view is wise when no stress arises. Hmmm. How is that possible?

When we see and accept the world as it is. Right now. Plants have been composted. That is all.