Skeleton

 

When i saw a skeleton at the hardware store, i bought it. It now stands at the corner of my driveway and the road, greeting visitors.

The Buddha recommended 5 daily recollections, one of which is "I am of the nature to die. Death is unavoidable."

These Days of the Dead, preceded by All Hallow's Evening (Hallow E'en), are an excellent time to bring this remembrance to mind. Perhaps several times today and tomorrow.

All around us, people are sick and dying from COVID. Just like them, i am of the nature to become sick and die.

Our challenge is to have compassion for the suffering of others and for ourself. This is not a time to say, "Well, they were old anyway, so it doesn't really matter if they die." Put yourself in their shoes; put yourself in their bare feet. Walking on cold ground. Walking toward a grave. Put yourself in their bones. Put yourself in their skeleton.

Practice compassion.

A Tu-lip Kiss

Yesterday i delivered 4 pots of tulips to friends.

One friend has a terminal illness and is jumping through the medical hoops so he can take "the pill" if he so desires--probably within the next 2 months. One pot of tulips to my masseuse. Oh, i could really use a massage about now. I stopped by to visit an extrovert couple who love company. We sat outdoors on their deck, about 10 feet apart. And the last one to a neighbor.

I've never been good at "dropping by" anyone's home, but yesterday i had the time to go out of my way and meander home. It didn't really take that long to stop and deliver some flowery cheer and exchange a few words--from a distance. I rather like this slowed-down pace.

The tulips have to serve as my virtual hug and kiss on the cheek.

Heal-All

Heal-all is blooming in my yard. This common 2-4 inch tall plant looks like a weed, but i once saw it in an English garden in the Cotswolds standing about 10 inches tall and looking quite beautiful.

Heal-all is an herb that actually does heal chronic illness. The young herb is edible and can be used in soups and salads.

The Dharma is a heal-all for the mind. Once we diagnose our dis-ease: that suffering exists and that we can never be comfortable in our own skin as long as we are looking for happiness outside of ourselves. Even happiness of the moment has a shadow side, if we will but look.

The remedy for the discontent of our minds is following the Noble 8-fold path.

I walk into my pathless lawn, and there i find it: heal-all.

I Have a Cold

I have a cold. Drip. Drip. Drip. Lying down is the driest position. When i stand up, drip, drip, drip. When i walk around, drip, drip, drip.

I throw my used tissues into the compost bucket beside the kitchen sink. It fills up quickly. I throw used tissues into the fireplace, and soon they look like a white snow drift.

My mind is dull. I try to focus on the unpleasant spots--right sinus under the eye, right sinus above the eye, a general feeling of heaviness. Unpleasant. Unpleasant. Unpleasant.

I am of the nature to become ill. Sickness is unavoidable.

Yes. Here it is. The mind is too dull to contemplate. I merely recite the phrases.

Day 2: the drip recedes. Eventually i remember garlic--my cure-all. I mince a large clove of garlic and swallow it down with warm water.

I am of the nature to become ill. Sickness is unavoidable.

Head in the Sand

After a month of retreat in the sunny South, i'm home. I've finally brought indoors pots of forced hyacinths, which are beginning to bloom.

One bulb in one pot of hyacinths had buried its head in the dirt and was growing into and under the soil. I pried its pale, pale green leaves out of the dirt this morning.

We too sometimes bury our heads in the sand. We don't want to look. We don't want to see. We don't want to acknowledge the truth of the present moment.

The Buddha recommends 5 Daily Reflections to help us work against this tendency to not want to acknowledge true life.

• I am of the nature to grow old. Aging is unavoidable.
• I am of the nature to become ill. Sickness is unavoidable.
• I am of the nature to die. Death is inevitable.
• Everything i cherish will change and vanish.
• Karma is the only thing i own.

Some of my friends turn up their noses at these seemingly unpleasant thoughts. But i'm trying to pry my own head out of the sand to see and acknowledge the beautiful life all around me.

Ode to Joy

A symphony of goldfinches was singing from the pine tree tops this morning. A gray day of sprinkling rain, yet the finches sang joyfully, despite the outer conditions.

Where do we find our joy--despite outer conditions of aging, illness, or things not going according to plan?

Flowering Kale

The mums on the front step are nearly dead, so i've replaced them with flowering kale, which is on sale for half price--$3.49. The kale might last for 2 weeks or 2 months; it all depends on the weather.

None of us know how much time we have left--a year or a decade or several decades. It all depends on unknown circumstances. An 80-year-old friend who has been healthy as a horse his whole life suddenly has lung cancer. Our past good fortune does not necessarily predict our future.

Today, the flowering kale is beautiful.

Rest the Body

Nonnie, Christmas, 1985

My gardening grandmother, who was crippled by arthritis for the last 30 years of her life, often chuckled that she had a hitch in her git-along. Now i have a hitch in my git-along too. I can't even bend over. Oh! It is so hard to look at the garden and not be able to do anything. I can't pull a weed or transplant tomatoes or.... anything.

The Buddha recommends the Five Daily Reflections to us:

1. I am of the nature to become old. Aging is inevitable.
2. I am of the nature to become ill (and have a hitch in my git-along).
3. I am of the nature to die. Death is unavoidable.
4. Everything i cherish (like the garden) will change and vanish.
5. My actions are the only thing i own.

I'm focused on the body this week--aging and not doing what the mind wants it to do. The relationship between body and mind becomes clear: the mind orders the body around and the body thoughtlessly obeys, until it just can't do it. The body sends pain signals, which the mind responds to with impatience. The mind throws a tantrum. But this is so inconvenient! I want my functioning body back!

The body has been the slave of the mind for all these years. The body is aging. The body has been stressed and strained. The body wants to rest.

Rest in the garden. Rest in peace.

New Garden Cart

I have been desperate for my ailing garden cart for more than a week, so, on Sunday, i drove to the garden store to buy a new one. When i saw the design of my old garden cart in lavender, i was smitten.

I plunked down my credit card and was driving Lavender home within 10 minutes. Oh, i do like fast shopping.

Of course, every good thing is accompanied by trouble. And this beauty had flat tires. Fortunately i could pump those up with an air pump that plugs into the power outlet (formerly called the cigarette lighter) of a car.

Lavender and i roll out to the vegetable garden a couple of times a day. Oh, do we have a good time!

Her older, aging, faded sister (see yesterday's post) is waiting to go to rehab. I haven't answered the question of what i'm going to do with a wonky, old garden cart. You might just cut her misery short and send her to the landfill. But i'll keep her limping along as long as i can.

Snow Mold from Old Snow

Snow Mold

When i went to my singing lesson yesterday, i had to keep clearing my throat. "Oh, yes," the voice teacher said, "singing unglues stuff you didn't even know you had in there. And at this time of year, the snow mold is really bad."

Snow mold? I am allergic to molds and mildews, but i never thought about being allergic to snow.

Snow mold on the lawn appears as the snow melts, which was happening earlier this week. Before it snowed again.

Gray snow mold grows on unfrozen ground, under the snow, and lies around on the cold and wet lawn until temperatures reach 45 degrees. Pink snow mold likes it warmer--32 to 60 degrees.

 Snow gets old and moldy, and so do we. Snow decays, and so do we. Snow mold is a fungus, and, at times, we too get fungal infections.

Look carefully at the receding snow. Snow mold is teaching us a lesson. Can we hear it?

Another Cold

My sweetie came down with a draggy cold on Monday. He believes he caught it in the doctor's office, 3 days earlier. Now, 3 days later, i am coughing and sniffling and.... Wanh! I don't want to have a cold. I just had a cold 1 month ago. I do not want another one!

And i practice the 2nd Daily Reflection:
 I am of the nature to become ill (whether i want to or not).  
My body is of the nature to get sick.
 
My favorite remedy is to dice up a garlic clove and swallow it with a glass of water. I'm chewing Vitamin C. I'm sucking on zinc lozenges. I'm drinking fluids--coconut water is my current favorite. I'm napping. I'm cancelling my appointments.

And i am coughing, coughing.

I feel grateful for a body whose immune system can fight off the invaders.

My eyes are narrow slits. My mind has no idea where this blog is going. And despite the outer circumstances (ugh!), an inner smile is walking me to bed. Right now.

Treating My Shoulder Gingerly

I strained my right shoulder, whether by shoveling snow or in my trapeze class or a combination of the two. I'm dropping out of trapeze class for the remainder of the semester, (Ouch!) but i did gingerly go to my Stretching 101 class at the circus school last night.

The physical therapist suggested i take ibuprofen, an anti-inflammatory, for a few days. But the circus pros each gave me a pep talk on the anti-inflammatory properties of ginger and turmeric. After class, i stopped at the food coop and bought ginger root, which i needed anyway, and ground turmeric, which i just ran out of. I also bought 2 small bottles of ginger juice.

As soon as i arrived home, i mixed up Ginger Cordial:
1 bottle of ginger juice
an equal amount of lemon juice
2 tablespoons of maple syrup (You can use honey.)


I poured myself a glass of fizzy water, and added enough Ginger Cordial to empower it. Oh, such an easy way to drink my ginger.

Our bodies are of the nature to become ill, or in my case, a bit disabled. I have no control over it. And it happens at an inconvenient time: two weeks before the end of the semester for trapeze class! And just as snow-shoveling season begins.

There's no need to feel incensed about the injustice of life. That just adds mental inflammation. Instead, act cordially toward illness or disability.

I'm going for another ginger cordial, right now.

Walla Walla Onions

I had a fantastic onion harvest in August.  My Walla Walla (Vidalia) onions were as big as softballs. No kidding!  But those big onion-ring type onions have a short shelf life. So I'm cooking up as many onion recipes as I can. Onion soup. Onion quiche with bacon bits. What's your favorite recipe that uses a lot of onions?

These big onions are surprisingly mild and sweet. We think of onions as causing us some distress, bringing tears to our eyes. But not these. People in Walla Walla eat these onions like apples. Crunch!

 Several things on our Buddhist path may initially make us put up our right hand like a stop sign. "No thanks. I don't want any of that."

For instance, the 5th precept of not taking intoxicants. Oh a little glass of wine never hurt anybody. Or the third perfection of renunciation. No thanks. I want more not less. Or the third characteristic of existence: Not-self. Of course i have a self! Or the 5 daily reflections on aging, illness, and death, followed by impermanence and karma. Really, do we have to talk about those? What a bore.

Yet when we bite into any one of these teachings, we find our life becomes sweeter.

So send me your onion recipes Sweetie.

Squash to Pie

In the basement, while putting away extension cords from the holidays, i discovered 2 butternut squashes going south. I brought them up to the chopping block in the kitchen, cut off the brown parts, and soon had 3 bags of cubed squash for the freezer, as well as sauteed squash-apples-onions for dinner. My sweetie had been begging for a pumpkin pie, so i made a squash pie instead. (It looks the same.)

Illness surprises us. We go to the doctor for a check-up and find something not quite right. My 47-year-old step-daughter just emerged from a week in the hospital and a bout with inflamed colitis. My 96-year-old hospice client has leukemia, but she subsists on a diet of Pepperidge Farm cookies and Boost, a nutritional drink.

My middle-aged winter squashes had begun to bruise and brown. Most of my friends in their 60s have had skin cancers removed. The women almost all have osteopenia, the predecessor of osteoporosis. Bones begin to weaken inside, unnoticed.

The body only lasts so long. And what it does is beyond our control, no matter how well we take care of it.

Knowing this, knowing that Life consumes Life, what's the harvest of our life? What do we make of our "one wild and precious life"?

Pie photo from farmersdaughterct.wordpress.com

The Dis-ease of the Body

I picked up a load of manure on Saturday. Farmer Charlie said he has Lyme disease, and thinks he's had it for a few years. This is a man whose very life is physical activity from dawn to dusk.

We are all subject to illness, no matter that we eat organic, grass-fed beef or that we eat only organic vegetables. We  are all subject to dis-ease. Whether it's a cold that hangs on weeks or the aching of the body, the body does become sick.

We are pretty clear that "I have a body, but i am not my body" until illness strikes us with aches, pains, and discomfort. Then we are overwhelmed by sensations and claim them as "mine." "I" hurt, "I" feel awful, "I" want things to be different than they are. "I" want my old self back; "I" want a healthy body, not a sick one.

The body is doing its best to survive. The physical organism responds to its needs. The body is a vehicle.

And we? We are awareness--a non-complaining, simple awareness.