Sunday, May 5, 2013

Wanting and Not Wanting

I want to start a raspberry bed, but the person i share a bed with says, "No."

He has his reasons:
  • raspberries are thorny
  • he doesn't want to mow around them
  • i am growing old

"But, honey," i say, "it'll save us $120 a month." We pass the farmstand on our way home, and in June and July, i stop every day to buy a pint of raspberries for $3.99.

He's a Mc, so appealing to his Scotch frugality usually works. But not this time.

He used to be a salesman, and he's taught me to respond positively to each rebuttal:
  • i'll do the picking
  • i'll mow around them
  • if i die tomorrow, you can just mow them down.
I want. He doesn't want. Thereby turns the screw of relationship and the wheel of samsara, the endless back-and-forth-ing of life.

This wanting/not-wanting plays out in our very own minds. Why haven't i put in a raspberry bed before this? I didn't really want one.

So, instead of projecting my frustration (with myself) onto him, i and the raspberry bed will wait.

I know from experience that he does not like change. But, then, one day, he changes his mind.

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